I wake up every morning thinking about him. At first I thought I was just lonely, but I crave his presence and I have dreams about him. I miss the relationship and him as a person. He was my best friend and I feel like part of me is missing. 4 months after the breakup and I’m absolutely devastated. I felt horrible, but I didn’t regret it at all…… From what I heard, he was depressed for a while and wasn’t sober for most of the month after the breakup. His friends, whom I was still on good terms with, tried to convince me to come back but I had made my decision. He tried to talk to me about getting back together a few times at first but I explained that I just didn’t feel the same. I wanted him to desperately to move on with someone new so I didn’t feel guilty anymore. I felt incredibly guilty, but I no longer felt those feelings that I did over the summer. I finally broke up with him almost 4 months ago today. I wrestled with the thought of breaking up with him for quite some time and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t fair to drag someone along that loved me like he did when I don’t feel the same way. I wasn’t sure if this was because of the new medication that I went on with similar symptoms, that we were in a rut, or that I truly was falling out of love. I was feeling uninterested physically and emotionally and more depressed and frustrated. I was still in love with him and wanted to be around him but I noticed as he was become more intense, I was becoming less interested. Towards the end of the relationship, however, my feelings started to lessen. He treated me like a queen, he was my best friend, we laughed about the same things, our physical relationship was great, everything was blissful. We fell for each other hard, I was the first to say the big “I love you”. Our values are the same and we are very similar souls. I get along with his family, he gets along with mine. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. He pursued me 100%, I was hesitant to date him at first because I wasn’t overwhelmingly drawn to him but he quickly won me over. He’s a year younger, smart, charming, funny, extremely driven, everything you would want in a boyfriend. We had six great months together (even though six months really isn’t that long in comparison to other great loves you hear about on this site). I started dating my ex around this time last year. I’m here to ask for advice because I’m being tortured by regret. My name is elle and I’m a senior in college.
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